Cowboy in Me

I don't know why I act the way I do
Like I ain't got a single thing to lose
Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy
I guess that's just the cowboy in me
- Tim McGraw

When my oldest daughter was oh, I don't know, maybe 9 or 10 years old, she fell in love with horses like a lot of young girls do. She was so quiet and shy at the time, and spent most of her time by herself reading. Not a lot of friends, just her sisters and her world of books. That's fine, because we encouraged reading, but she was so withdrawn and sometimes we worried. My husband saw an ad in the paper for a place that gave riding lessons and thought we should see if she was interested. I took her, and saw something amazing happen. She got on that huge horse and there was a light in her eyes that I'd never seen before. Something came alive in her that I couldn't explain. We signed her up.

After a bit, we switched to a different stable. The first place gave good lessons (English) but we arrived with the horse all ready for her, she took her lesson, and then we left. The second place (Western) expected the girls got to go out in the field and get a horse, bring it back into the stable, brush it down, saddle and bridle it, and lead it into the riding arena. After the lesson she had to brush the horse down. A lot more hands-on for girls who were in love with horses.

And I watched. Once a week for almost two years, I stood leaning on the rail fence of the arena, inside in the winter or outside in the summer, watching her as she learned to trot, canter, lead the horse through small obstacles, do small jumps, and other such maneuvers. One summer she did day camp at the ranch. She got to watch the vets at work and learned to ride bare-back as well as do Roman riding (standing up with no saddle). And finally I decided to join in.

I got a life that most would love to have
But sometimes I still wake up fightin' mad
At where this road I'm heading down might lead
I guess that's just the cowboy in me

And then she got busy in high school and I got busy in grad school and neither of us rode for a long time. Well, we do have one story. We were visiting Grandma and Grandpa in Georgia. Her aunt (my sister-in-law) used to ride. So the three of us decided to go for a trail ride. Great afternoon with the young girls who were our guides. And then the horses started to get all antsy...pulling at their bridles and high-stepping. We were told to just hang on as we rounded the corner because we were coming up to "Giddy-up Hill" and the horses knew it. Well, the horses broke into a full gallop through the woods to the top of a large hill. Absolutely exhilarating!

The urge to run, the restlessness
The heart of stone I sometimes get
The things I've done for foolish pride
The me that's never satisfied
The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see
I guess that's just the cowboy in me

We didn't ride again until many years later when she went off to college. We found a stable that offered trail rides high in the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi River. To this day, it is some of the most spectacular scenery I've ridden through. We went through dense woods, steep paths, jumps over fallen trees, and some of the most challenging riding I've ever done. We went with an experienced guide who understood we were experienced riders and we cantered for great lengths through the woods. Absolutely fabulous riding. I loved every minute of it....the scenery, the freedom, the urge to run, the time with my daughter. There is very much a cowboy in me.

We ride and never worry about the fall
I guess that's just the cowboy in us all