Christmas For Cowboys

Tall in the saddle, to spend Christmas Day
Driving the cattle over snow covered-plains.
All of the good gifts given today,
Ours is the sky and the wide open range.

Back in the cities they have different ways
Football and eggnog and Christmas parades.
I'll take my saddle, I'll take the reins,
It's Christmas for cowboys wide-open plains.

A campfire for warmth as we stop for the night,
The stars overhead are Christmas tree lights.
The wind sings a hymn as we bow down to pray,
It's Christmas for cowboys, wide-open plains.

--John Denver

Anyone who does not listen to John Denver has probably never heard this song. It's a simple song, and it congers up simple images. And that is exactly what I like about it. For many, many years I struggled with the Christmas holidays. It was overcrowded with activities and events and expectations creating a level of stress that to me made the holidays everything they shouldn't be.

So slowly I began to take stock of what mattered to me about the holidays. What parts did I want to keep? What parts was I willing to let go of? What parts had to change even if I had to address other people's expectations?

The parts that I wanted to keep were the baking--I love to do that! And the stockings I make for family members (and a few close friends). I think at last count I've made over 40 stockings. I like the little things like buying a new ornament each year for the girls, and bringing out the antique ornaments that were my grandmother's. I love our Christmas morning tradition of the youngest passing out the gifts and going 'round the room opening them one by one.

The things I let go of were the multiple events that just added stress to our schedule. When the girls were young, we slated their piano recital, but tried to say no to cookie exchanges, neighborhood parties, and work events we didn't need to be at. Everyone feels compelled to put these get-togethers on the calendar in December and then they wonder why they're stressed. We finally just started to opt out.

One area where I had to address others' expectations was my husband's lack of Christmas shopping. When the girls were small, I went a lot of Christmases with no gifts from him/them at all. I'm not a material person, and I don't ask for much, but with the routine of going around the circle and opening gifts one at a time, it got hard to take when the only gifts for me were the one or two my parents had dropped off. It made me too sad. I won't go into details, but eventually we came to an understanding on this, and it got better as the girls got older.

Another issue was making the decision as a family to start going out of town for Christmas. When I was a kid, and we all gathered at my grandma's for Christmas, we were a group of 13. But now we all have spouses, significant others, and children. If everyone is in town, we're a group of over 40 people. My family gets together the night of the 24th, then they gather again on the 25th. We finally made the decision to pare down the holidays and spend it just with our immediate family and we did it by going out of town. We rent a lodge a few hours out of town that's big enough for our girls (and their boyfriends if they want to join us).

We hole up for three days and two nights for a quiet and relaxing family Christmas. The views of the river are commanding and you are reminded of things that are simple and good. It's a time to focus on family without the distractions of the telephone, television, internet, or anything else. The girls love it and I hope we can keep doing it for a long time to come.

Tall in the saddle we spend Christmas Day,
Driving the cattle over snow-covered plains.
All of the good gifts given today,
Ours is the sky and the wide open range.
It's Christmas for cowboys, and wide open plains.