Shuttin' Detroit Down

My daddy taught me in this country everyone's the same
You work hard for your dollar and you never pass the blame
When it don't go your way
- John Rich

At my school, the teachers often bemoan students' lack of investment. Their unwillingness to put forth any effort on assignments, and, all too often, convey the attitude that they should be given a decent grade anyway because, oh, I don't know, they're a wonderful person?

Well, pardon me if I don't shed a tear
They're selling make believe and we don't buy that here

We could analyze it and try to figure out if it relates back to parents who have been worrying about their child's self esteem since the day they were born, but often the parents are just as frustrated at their children's lack of investment as the teachers are. And what's frustrating is the schools - the teachers - are being held accountable for the test scores for kids who aren't invested. For kids who don't care. It's pretty darn difficult to make someone come to the table if they don't want to be there. If they don't see something in it for them. And why should they? They'll get what they need...eventually...from someone...

It's a very different mindset when you've worked 30 hour weeks to pay your own tuition. Those dollars are worth something you gave up, so you study your butt off because you're not willing to see those dollars go down the drain.

Now I see all these big shots whining on my evening news
About how they're losing billions and it's up to me and you
To come running to the rescue

A local columnist asked older readers, folks who had come of age during the Great Depression, to share "Life Lessons". He asked them to evaluate their lives now that they've been around the block a few times. One of the things he mentioned was that it was clear they had developed "work habits in an age of scarcity." A very interesting concept, that is...

How different my students would be if they had developed work habits in an age of scarcity...instead of having everything handed to them - which many of them have!

Well that old man's been working in that plant most all his life
Now his pension plan's been cut in half and he can't afford to die
And it's a crying shame, 'cause he ain't the one to blame
When I looked down to see his calloused hands
Well let me tell you friend it gets me fightin' mad

When I watch a sixth grader act non-chalant about not getting his homework turned in, I know he is not thinking about how it will impact his future because he has never seen his father unemployed for lack of finishing school....or his mother cry because she cannot pay for groceries. He has not seen how something as simple as doing Math problems in November affects the whole rest of his family a year and a half later in May.

'Cause in the real world they're shuttin Detroit down
While the boss man takes his bonus paid jets on out of town
DC's bailing out them bankers as the farmers auction ground
Yeah, while there living up on Wall Street in that New York City town
Here in the real world they're shuttin Detroit down

And so part of what we do as teachers is to help kids care. Help them see why the material we present is relevant and matters. To them, to the rest of society. We need them to be invested so we ALL don't shut down.

Highway 20 Ride

A part of you might hate me
But son, please don’t mistake me
For a man that didn’t care at all
- Zac Brown

How do we measure the cost of what we do? And whether it's worth the price? There was an editorial piece in the paper today, written by a mother serving in the military, and how she feels when people thank her for her service, and she wonders if she's paid too great a price for our Freedom. Not because she served in Iraq, but because she wasn't there for her son when he needed her, and he committed suicide. And it made me think about my daughter lashing out at me, angry that she has to compete with 300 children for my attention. And how everyone at my school has to believe in the higher principle of what we are doing at this school...to make it worth jumping ship, giving up tenure, working longer hours for less pay. In the end, will it matter more that I started a school to provide parents with educational choice or that I was there for my family? Is that being selfish? Or serving a greater good? And how do you know?

And I count the days
And the miles back home to you

And when my daughter goes to study abroad, is it worth it because it furthers her education and career goals? Or too high a cost in the emotional toll it takes on the rest of the family because we worry about her and miss her so very much?

And my whole world
It begins and ends with you

I believe in service. And making the world a better place. I know my daughters do too. Right now, I am striving for balance. It's a late life lesson. Because I know that without family, there is very little else. So I am striving to find that balance. It's elusive because I believe so strongly in that service and the higher purpose of my school. But the world does begin and end with my daughters. So the best I can do is to keep the communication open and hope that I am doing a good job keeping tuned in to seeing the world through their eyes.

Many a Long and Lonesome Highway

Many a long and lonesome highway lies before us as we go
In the end I'll do it my way, look for me where the four winds blow
- Rodney Crowell

This has been an incredibly hard couple of months. I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to find a new building for my school and serious doubts whether or not it's going to happen. If it doesn't, there are 40 people without a job and 350 kids without a school. It keeps me awake at night, I've lost weight, and heaven knows I work way too many hours. The support I wish I had from certain people isn't there, and I've been a wreck. On top of it all, I've gone back to school for my superintendent's license, and my daughter has been overseas for several months. My stress has been sky-high. And for the first time since my school opened, for the first time in four years, I took a vacation. I went to Brussels to visit my sister and her family, and then on to Dublin to see my daughter.

It did me a world of good to spend time at my sister's. Not only to spend time with her, but also to spend time with my nieces and nephews. I absolutely love teenagers! I love their energy and their honesty. While we were there, I asked Becca to act as tour guide and she showed me some beautiful buildings - not even knowing how much I love architecture. The next day, Ben and I tried our luck getting around the city without Becca's help, perfectly willing to get lost in the process of finding waffles. And in the evening we ate, and laughed, and watched TV, and laughed, and talked, and laughed a lot. All very good.

Becca will be graduating this spring, and says she wants to come back to the States to go to college. We don't see each other that often as it is; hopefully our paths will still cross occasionally and we'll see each other on holidays or other family events. I'm looking forward to seeing the adult she will become because I believe right now she carefully guards who she is. And that in the coming years, as she comes into her own, we will all be the better for knowing her because she is a person of incredible depth. This song is for her.

I believe in love and danger
I believe that truth is stranger
I believe that fear is much too strong
I believe the best will find me when I leave the rest behind me

Many a long and lonesome highway lies before us as we go
In the end I'll do it my way, look for me where the four winds blow

Pledge Allegiance to the Hag

Don't cry for me when I'm gone
Just put a quarter in the jukebox
An' sing me back home
- Eric Church

Sing me back home... What a wonderful sentiment. I've been to too many funerals where the person officiating didn't know the deceased very well. I found their words to be meaningless at best, and grating and insulting at worst. I have a lot of anger toward the man who officiated at my mother's funeral. It was more about him than it was about her. And he wouldn't let us kids speak during her funeral, only before it started. When both my grandmother and my uncle died, on the other hand, their pastor knew them well, spoke about them eloquently, and invited a lot of the family to speak.

I don't belong to a church and there is no Pastor Max to officiate. But I do believe that the power of music is just as powerful as prayer. And just as healing. Music has carried me through the most difficult times in life, and helped me celebrate the most momentous occasions. And why shouldn't it "carry me home" in the end? People say they want their funeral to be a celebration of their life. I do too. But I want it to be a celebration through music. And what is that music? Here are the songs I want to sing me home, in this order...

Go Rest High on That Mountain - Vince Gill
....a good song about being called home
Carefree Highway - Gordon Lightfoot
....it just speaks to who I am
Summer - John Denver
....it's about continuing on
I Hope You Dance - LeAnn Womak
....it's about hope for the future
Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills and Nash
....for my love of music, the water, and the night
16th Avenue - Lacy J. Dalton
....for believing in your dreams
The Dance - Garth Brooks
....for my mother
You'll Accompany Me - Bob Seeger
....for Gregory
Baby Girl - Sugarland
....for all of my daughters
Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
....because I want my ashes to go in the St. Croix River, to the Mississippi, to the sea