Friends With You

Friends, I will remember you
Think of you, pray for you
And when another day is through
I'll still be friends with you...
-- John Denver

I had lunch with two teacher friends of mine. They've been friends for about 30 years and are such good friends that sometimes people think they're married, or at least Barb says so. I got taken into their friendship and I'm not sure how, but I treasure that friendship for a lot of reasons. Even though Barb's retired and I don't work with John any more, the three of us still try to get together once a month or so. Barb's good about making sure we get together.

People who don't know John think he's rather gruff. Some kids are afraid of him. One colleague nick-named him "The Colonel". He's blunt. He doesn't put up with nonsense from kids. He's a stickler for rules. He's vocal about the way things ought to be done. He's also one of the kindest people I've ever known.

I got to know John as a colleague through our mutual love of Social Studies and history. His classroom is so filled with antique artifacts there is no counter space. Things even hang from the ceiling. He and I did "bus duty" together every afternoon for years. At the end of the day all the teachers brought their kids down to the gym where they lined up according to bus number--and John supervised. I was outside with the walkie-talkie radioing in the bus numbers as they pulled into the lot. John would send the kids out to me and I would see that they were safely loaded. Heaven forbid any of the kids would misbehave for either me or John! Maybe that's another reason why we got to be such good friends...we had the same expectations for our students.

My students knew that these were the rules and don't mess with them. I held them to high standards but I worked hard to help them meet those high standards. There were firm consequences for misbehaving and I let kids suffer the consequences of their misbehavior. I didn't waste time in warnings or long explanations that I knew kids would just tune out anyway. But I also loved them to death and they knew it. They knew if they were struggling I'd go to bat for them 200%. If someone else wronged them, I'd stick up for them and help them sort it out. And in all situations, I talked to them and treated them like adults. I think that's what they liked most about me--that I didn't talk down to them like so many adults do. Years later I still have students who keep in touch with me. John is the same way with his kids.

One day, about 10 years ago, I suffered a gran mal seizure. I'd never had one before and it ended with my husband calling 911 and a transport to the hospital. I found out that when you have a first-time seizure in MN you lose your driver's license for 6 months. That was as upsetting to me as the seizure. I was referred for further testing to make sure it wasn't a brain tumor. More upset.

When I returned to work the next week, John came down to my room early in the morning, before the students arrived. He told me he had heard what happened. I was still rather upset and just nodded. But I will never forget what he said next... "I just want you to know we're all family here. And if you ever need anything from your family, you just let us know."

There are certain friendships that are free of obligations, free of time constraints, and full of reassurances that they're there for you, no questions asked. Barb and John are like that and I love them both for it. I'm honored that I'm the third person in their long-time friendship.